May 7, 2010
If you are a grown woman phoning into a customer service calling center to order this for yourself, I think it’s time to reassess a few things in your life.

If you are a grown woman phoning into a customer service calling center to order this for yourself, I think it’s time to reassess a few things in your life.

9:34am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZUsgMyYVq1U
May 7, 2010
“A customer called to set up a return for this because he thought it was a real microwave. I’m not kidding.” - Submitted by J. Note: As if the $44 price tag, bright coloring, and drawn-on keypad wasn’t enough to tip the customer off, the toy microwave is also advertised as being part of this kitchen set:

“A customer called to set up a return for this because he thought it was a real microwave. I’m not kidding.” - Submitted by J.

Note: As if the $44 price tag, bright coloring, and drawn-on keypad wasn’t enough to tip the customer off, the toy microwave is also advertised as being part of this kitchen set:

9:29am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZUsgMyYVny7
April 27, 2010
Customer (woman, heavy Long Island accent): “Hi, I’d like to order a total gym 1100.” Me: “Sure thing, could I have the SKU number?” Customer: “Uh, I don’t have any numbers, all I know is that it’s endorsed by Chuck Norris.”

Customer (woman, heavy Long Island accent): “Hi, I’d like to order a total gym 1100.”

Me: “Sure thing, could I have the SKU number?”

Customer: “Uh, I don’t have any numbers, all I know is that it’s endorsed by Chuck Norris.”

7:22pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZUsgMyX32Mh
April 20, 2010
Customer (middle-aged woman from Ontario): “I am so mad right now. My bed arrived damaged, I made you promise me it wouldn’t, and it arrived damaged. I am so fucking mad. Everyone told me to not order furniture online, but I did and now it’s damaged and now everyone’s going to laugh at me.” Me: “I’m sorry to hear that ma’am, could you please describe the damage?” Customer: “I’m positive that a piece chipped off the side and you painted over it to trick me. Did you do this to me on purpose? Do you think I’m stupid just because I’m Canadian?”

Customer (middle-aged woman from Ontario): “I am so mad right now. My bed arrived damaged, I made you promise me it wouldn’t, and it arrived damaged. I am so fucking mad. Everyone told me to not order furniture online, but I did and now it’s damaged and now everyone’s going to laugh at me.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that ma’am, could you please describe the damage?”

Customer: “I’m positive that a piece chipped off the side and you painted over it to trick me. Did you do this to me on purpose? Do you think I’m stupid just because I’m Canadian?”

8:22pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZUsgMyW0BYQ
April 18, 2010
Working for hours on end in a calling center means that sometimes the representatives have to entertain themselves with someone other than crazy customers: welcome to the internal email system. Here are a few from C. Subject: Saturday 4-17-10 Sent: Monday, April 12th 2010 7:41 PM To: Part Time Group Hello All, I need someone to cover my shift on Saturday. I am trying out for the Real World on MTV and have to go all the way to Allston (….). I feel like I have so much to give America in the fields of Reality and television. I have a big heart and want this more than anything. Please, part-timers, don’t think I’m vain. I just want to share my life with America in a way that is both safe and fun. I will donate all subsequent earnings from public appearances to create my own charity that promotes awareness. Awareness is something I take very seriously and this is a great way to get the message out there. In conclusion can someone cover my Saturday from 10-5…I can swap Thursday and Friday night shifts. Best, C. Subject: :(  Sent: Saturday, April 17th, 2010 12:11 PM To: Part Time Group I will not be appearing on the next season of the Real World as I missed the casting call. This is a tremendous blow to me both personally and professionally. I will try and view this setback as a learning experience and will keep striving to reach my dream of appearing on reality television. I appreciate all the support and love the part time group has extended to me during the last week and hope this note finds you well.    Best. -C.

Working for hours on end in a calling center means that sometimes the representatives have to entertain themselves with someone other than crazy customers: welcome to the internal email system. Here are a few from C.

Subject: Saturday 4-17-10

Sent: Monday, April 12th 2010 7:41 PM

To: Part Time Group

Hello All,

I need someone to cover my shift on Saturday. I am trying out for the Real World on MTV and have to go all the way to Allston (….). I feel like I have so much to give America in the fields of Reality and television. I have a big heart and want this more than anything. Please, part-timers, don’t think I’m vain. I just want to share my life with America in a way that is both safe and fun. I will donate all subsequent earnings from public appearances to create my own charity that promotes awareness. Awareness is something I take very seriously and this is a great way to get the message out there.

In conclusion can someone cover my Saturday from 10-5…I can swap Thursday and Friday night shifts.

Best,

C.

Subject: :( 

Sent: Saturday, April 17th, 2010 12:11 PM

To: Part Time Group

I will not be appearing on the next season of the Real World as I missed the casting call. This is a tremendous blow to me both personally and professionally. I will try and view this setback as a learning experience and will keep striving to reach my dream of appearing on reality television. I appreciate all the support and love the part time group has extended to me during the last week and hope this note finds you well.    Best. -C.


12:14pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZUsgMyVfGXV
April 14, 2010
All the same customer, over the course of a phone call: “There’s just something about Oriental women. They make the best wives.” “I pierced my ears, but I didn’t do my you-know-what. I don’t need metal to please a woman.” “I’m not gay, I’m just fashionable.” “You don’t know what it’s like to watch someone take their last breath after you cut their throat.” - Submitted by J., fellow customer service representative

All the same customer, over the course of a phone call:

“There’s just something about Oriental women. They make the best wives.”

“I pierced my ears, but I didn’t do my you-know-what. I don’t need metal to please a woman.”

“I’m not gay, I’m just fashionable.”

“You don’t know what it’s like to watch someone take their last breath after you cut their throat.”

- Submitted by J., fellow customer service representative

7:54pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZUsgMyV6wl9
Filed under: sexual freak 
April 14, 2010

E: Hi, thank you for calling Racks and Stands, my name is E.  May I-

Customer: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PRODUCT IS THIS?  IT’S ALL MOLDY!

E: I’m sorry ma’am, when did you receive this item?

Customer: TWO YEARS AGO!  NOT EVEN!  AND IT’S ALL MOLDY!

E: I’m sorry, did it arrive moldy?

Customer: HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?

E: I would appreciate it if you didn’t speak to me that way.

Customer: I WILL NEVER SHOP WITH YOU AGAIN.

-click-

- Submitted by E., fellow customer service representative

9:08am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZUsgMyV2aS_
Filed under: crazy 
April 11, 2010
“A woman called me. She is reordering a damaged table without her husbands permission while he is on a business trip to China.‘If Bill finds out about this he drag my ass to divorce-court and try to take the kids again. Please send all updates to my email or he will hit me with a hammer.’” - Submitted by C., fellow customer service representative

“A woman called me. She is reordering a damaged table without her husbands permission while he is on a business trip to China.

‘If Bill finds out about this he drag my ass to divorce-court and try to take the kids again. Please send all updates to my email or he will hit me with a hammer.’”

- Submitted by C., fellow customer service representative

12:29pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZUsgMyUcQ-9
April 8, 2010
Dial 900

Me: “Sure, just give me a second to look up your order.” (Starts typing.)

Customer: “Mmmm, I can hear you breathing.”

Me: (Awkward laughter.)

Customer: “I like it.”

11:27am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZUsgMyU9rEG
Filed under: sexual 
March 31, 2010
“A woman called and told me she needed a mattress pad to cancel out the effects of her Tempur-Pedic mattress because she is going through ‘the change of life’ and gets hot flashes. She also asked me what bars I go to around here and if I knew her niece, an alcoholic 2004 graduate of Suffolk.” - Submitted by C., fellow customer service representative

“A woman called and told me she needed a mattress pad to cancel out the effects of her Tempur-Pedic mattress because she is going through ‘the change of life’ and gets hot flashes. She also asked me what bars I go to around here and if I knew her niece, an alcoholic 2004 graduate of Suffolk.”

- Submitted by C., fellow customer service representative

2:39pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZUsgMyT2KGZ
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